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The First Lady is in town to dedicate the new Cosmetic Surgery Research Center at Lizzie Borden Memorial Medical Center – but someone is murdering the patients and staff. Is it a case of political intrigue or hospital politics?

Welcome to dedication ceremonies for Lizzie Borden Memorial Medical Center’s new Cosmetic Surgery Research Center. Today’s ceremony will also include a big announcement about Dr. Farley Catheter’s new research discovery: a formula that erases 20 years of aging from the skin. Everyone who’s anyone will be at the ceremony, including: The First Lady, the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, a football hero, a cosmetics industry mogul, the mayor, and all of the prominent doctors, nurses and staff at Lizzie Borden. And one of them will turn out to be a murderer.

Is it a case of deadly political intrigue, or lethal hospital politics? Keep your eyes and ears open, and see if you can identify tonight’s killer.

Characters

Roles Performed by Audience Members

Dr. Richard Trickle– The most prominent urologist at Lizzie Borden, Dr. Trickle tends to bury most of his mistakes.

The First Lady – The president’s wife, known for her vanity and also as the power behind the throne, is in town for dedication ceremonies for the new Cosmetic Surgery Research Center.

Ramona Humana – As administrator of Lizzie Borden, Ramona knows how to wheel and deal in the high finance world of hospital politics.

Drucilla Gotrocks – Top donor to Lizzie Borden Memorial Medical Center and patron to the most handsome, virile men at the hospital.

Mary Kay Revlon – A cosmetics industry mogul and major hypochondriac, Mary Kay has had more operations than any other patient at Lizzie Borden Memorial Medical Center.

Mayor Dwight Gerrymander – Mayor Gerrymander heads the local “machine.” He and his “boys” really put their “muscle” into getting election campaign contributions.

Dr. Lance Beautymark – The cosmetic surgeon to the rich and famous, and through the miracle of surgery…the most handsome doctor at Lizzie Borden.

Dr. Hannibal Letcher – As Head of Psychiatry at Lizzie Borden, Hannibal specializes in working with the criminally insane. Some people say it takes one to know one.

Reverend Jimmy Joe Grabnickels – Head Chaplain at Lizzie Borden Memorial Medical Center, Jimmy Joe is also the town’s most prominent Elvis impersonator.

Clete Reeboks – America’s favorite quarterback, Clete is recuperating at Lizzie Borden from a recent bicep implant operation.

Blanche Dispepsia – President of the hospital auxiliary, Blanche has been unlucky in love.

Dr. Roxanne Bunsenburner – Dr. Catheter’s loyal assistant in…and out of the research laboratory.

Brunhilda Bedpan, RN – Head Nurse at Lizzie Borden Memorial Medical Center, Brunhilda learned her management skills as a prison matron at the Ladies’ Correctional Facility.

Raoul Peroxide – Formerly the owner of New York’s chic “Raoul’s Le Hairtique,” Raoul now works exclusively as The First Lady’s hairdresser and confidant.

Annie Resussy – Lizzie Borden Memorial Medical Center’s most beautiful…and dumbest candystriper.

Roles Performed by the Acting Troupe

Dr. Farley Catheter – A nationally-recognized cosmetic surgeon, Dr. Catheter has discovered a formula that erases 20 years of aging from the skin.

Nancy Flackmaster – The perky public relations director for Lizzie Borden Memorial Medical Center can orchestrate any event…even a murder.

Chief Justice Titus Legalbriefs – The Chief Justice of the Supreme Court seems to have made quite a few enemies. It seems that everyone disagrees with his courtroom decisions.